STOP ME IF YOU'VE HEARD THIS ONE...

Eu Sei Falar

Inglês

Me Descreveria Como

I’ve been told by friends that I’m the funniest guy on the planet. They never did say which one, and let’s face it - these same people spend their free time downing fried pork rinds while watching old re-runs of, “My Mother the Car”, so their ability to offer serious opinions on anything other than the Atomic Weight of Cheetos is questionable at best. I guess I do have a weird, offbeat, obscure sense of humor, but I have to admit, even that is eclipsed by the astounding, God-given ability I have to wiggle my ears(really!). I’ve lived and worked in various places in Canada, Europe and the South Pacific(and Bali Hai never did call me), so I have at least a decent grasp on life outside the USA, which is something that has helped me grow as a person and partly made me into who I am today - a short guy trolling the Internet for women. I'm a pretty good cook, and love good food, good wine and good beer. I make a killer martini. I consume all things in moderation. I like hanging with friends and occasionally larger groups to hear new ideas and get different takes on life. I love all branches of The Arts, especially film, and enjoy going to movies, film festivals, plays, concerts, dance performances and art galleries. I also like hanging out at book stores, record stores, museums, antique stores, flea markets and Wal-Mart openings. I love road trips, both long and short. My politics are somewhat left of center. I’m an absolutely incurable romantic and make no apologies for that fact. I believe in honesty, loyalty and fidelity. I've been told that I give heart-stopping kisses and provide cuddles that have become the stuff of legend. Please hold your applause. By the way, my height as listed is correct but I've always dated women who were taller than me - no surprise there - so I’m open. The only thing I'm not open about is baggage. I left mine on the platform before the train pulled out of the station and am only interested in corresponding with someone who has done the same. If anything I've said here strikes you as appealing or at least interesting, then you are indeed an exceptional woman with exquisite taste in men and should not hesitate to contact me poste haste. Let's face it; to let someone with my rugged good looks slip through your fingers would be a travesty and you'd probably never forgive yourself. If, when you've finished the preceding, you're laughing, then you're probably someone I'd really enjoy talking to. On the other hand, if you find yourself frowning/grimacing/considering calling the authorities, then I'd pass and start dating that widget salesman who won last year's National Yodelers of America coveted Wish I Was Swiss award who keeps asking you out. Disclaimer: No widget salesmen were actually harmed during the writing of this profile. Later.

Signo

Capricórnio

Meu Tipo de Corpo:

Esbelto/a

Minha Altura:

1.47 m

Cor dos Olhos:

Cor de avelã

Minha Etnia:

Caucasiana

Minha Situação Conjugal:

Divorciado

Com Filhos?

Sim - Não Em Casa

Quer Ter Filhos?

Não

Minha Melhor Característica:

Sorriso

Arte no Corpo

Eu Nem Poderia Pensar Nisto

Cor de Cabelo:

Careca

Animais Que Possuo:

Não possuo animais

Disposto/a a Mudar de Morada?

Não

Nível Educacional

Diploma do Ensino Médio

Ocupação

Autoempregado/a

Especialização

Vendas / Marketing

Meu Título de Trabalho É

CEO/SALES MGR./JANITOR/COFFEE MAKER

Eu Faço Isto Em Um Ano

$15,000USD A $29,999USD

Eu Moro

Sozinho

Em Casa

Amigos Vêm Ocasionalmente

Eu Fumo

Não

Eu Bebo

Sim - Socialmente

No Colegial, Eu Era Um

Palhaço da Sala

Meu Comportamento Social É

Amigável, Cômico/a, Flertador(a)/Engatatão; Engatatona, Extrovertido/a

Meus Interesses e Atividades São

Ler, Música, TV, Filmes, Internet, Jantar, Teatro, Cozinhar

Minha Ideia De Um Momento Ideal É

Sair Com Os Amigos, Cinema, Relaxar, Dormi, Ir A Um Casino, Ir A Um Concerto, Ir A Um Museu

Um Primeiro Encontro Ideal Seria

PREFERABLY WITH A WOMAN.

Eu Sempre Quis Tentar

WRITING SOMETHING BRILLIANT ON ONE OF THESE DATING WEBSITES. OH WELL, MAYBE SOMEDAY...

Meus Amigos Me Descrevem Como Sendo

Amigável, Pateta, Maroto

Minha Religião É

Espiritualizado Mas Não Religioso

Frequento Serviços

Nunca

Meu Objetivo na Vida É

CONTINUING TO SCAN THE OBITUARIES FOR MY NAME EACH MORNING AND NOT FINDING IT THERE.

Meu Tipo de Humor É

Amigável, Pateta, Obscuro/a

Na TV, Eu Sempre Assisto

Notícias, Desenhos, Documentários, Dramas, Filmes

Quando Eu Vou Ao Cinema, Eu Sempre Vou Para Ver Um

Ficção Científica, Comédia, Romance, Drama, Documentário, Animação, Terror

Quando Eu Ouço Música, Eu Sempre Ouço

Rock, Metal, Clássica, Barulho de Aspirador de Pó, Blues, Jazz, Soul, Punk

Quando Eu Leio, Eu Sempre Leio

Clássicos, Ficção, Terror, Humor, Sátira

Para mim, Diversão É

HITTING MYSELF ON THE NOSE WITH A ROLLED UP NEWSPAPER WHENEVER I MAKE A MESS ON THE CARPET.

O Que Você Acha Atraente?

Inteligência, Humor, Empatia, Ousadia, Marotice, Espirituoso/a, Consideração Pelos Outros

O Que Você Procura?

HONESTY TOWARDS OTHERS AS WELL AS SOMEONE WHO CAN ALSO BE HONEST WITH THEMSELVES ABOUT THE KIND OF PEOPLE THEY WANT IN THEIR LIFE.

Que Tipo de Relacionamento Você Procura?

Amigo, Encontro, Íntimo, Comprometido/a