STOP ME IF YOU'VE HEARD THIS ONE...

Ich kann sprechen

Englisch

Ich würde mich selbst beschreiben als

I’ve been told by friends that I’m the funniest guy on the planet. They never did say which one, and let’s face it - these same people spend their free time downing fried pork rinds while watching old re-runs of, “My Mother the Car”, so their ability to offer serious opinions on anything other than the Atomic Weight of Cheetos is questionable at best. I guess I do have a weird, offbeat, obscure sense of humor, but I have to admit, even that is eclipsed by the astounding, God-given ability I have to wiggle my ears(really!). I’ve lived and worked in various places in Canada, Europe and the South Pacific(and Bali Hai never did call me), so I have at least a decent grasp on life outside the USA, which is something that has helped me grow as a person and partly made me into who I am today - a short guy trolling the Internet for women. I'm a pretty good cook, and love good food, good wine and good beer. I make a killer martini. I consume all things in moderation. I like hanging with friends and occasionally larger groups to hear new ideas and get different takes on life. I love all branches of The Arts, especially film, and enjoy going to movies, film festivals, plays, concerts, dance performances and art galleries. I also like hanging out at book stores, record stores, museums, antique stores, flea markets and Wal-Mart openings. I love road trips, both long and short. My politics are somewhat left of center. I’m an absolutely incurable romantic and make no apologies for that fact. I believe in honesty, loyalty and fidelity. I've been told that I give heart-stopping kisses and provide cuddles that have become the stuff of legend. Please hold your applause. By the way, my height as listed is correct but I've always dated women who were taller than me - no surprise there - so I’m open. The only thing I'm not open about is baggage. I left mine on the platform before the train pulled out of the station and am only interested in corresponding with someone who has done the same. If anything I've said here strikes you as appealing or at least interesting, then you are indeed an exceptional woman with exquisite taste in men and should not hesitate to contact me poste haste. Let's face it; to let someone with my rugged good looks slip through your fingers would be a travesty and you'd probably never forgive yourself. If, when you've finished the preceding, you're laughing, then you're probably someone I'd really enjoy talking to. On the other hand, if you find yourself frowning/grimacing/considering calling the authorities, then I'd pass and start dating that widget salesman who won last year's National Yodelers of America coveted Wish I Was Swiss award who keeps asking you out. Disclaimer: No widget salesmen were actually harmed during the writing of this profile. Later.

Anmelden

Steinbock

Mein Körpertyp ist

Schlank

Meine Größe ist

4' 10 (1.47 m)

Meine Augen sind

Haselnussbraun

Meine Herkunft ist

Kaukasisch

Mein Familienstand ist

Geschieden

Ich habe Kinder

Ja - nicht zuhause

Ich möchte Kinder

Nein

Meine beste Eigenschaft ist

Lachen

Körperkunst

Würde nicht einmal daran denken

Mein Haar ist

Kahl

Ich habe ein oder mehrere folgende Haustiere

Keine Haustiere

Bereit umzuziehen

Nein

Mein Ausbildungsgrad ist

Hauptschul-Abschluss

Mein derzeitiges Dienstverhältnis ist

Selbstständig

Meine Spezialität ist

Verkauf / Marketing

Mein Job-Titel ist

CEO/SALES MGR./JANITOR/COFFEE MAKER

Ich verdiene im Jahr so viel

$15,000USD bis $29,999USD

Ich lebe

Alleine

Zuhause

Freunde kommen gelegentlich vorbei

Ich bin Raucher

Nein

Ich trinke

Ja - Sozial

In der Hauptschule war ich

Klassenclown

Mein soziales Verhalten ist

Freundlich, Comedian, Flirtwillig, Offen

Meine Interessen und Hobbys sind

Lesen, Musik, TV, Filme, Internet, Essen gehen, Theater, Kochen

Meine Vorstellung einer tollen Zeit ist

Mit Freunden ausgehen, Filme, Entspannen, Schlafen, Ins Casino gehen, In ein Konzert gehen, In ein Museum gehen

Ein ideales erstes Date wäre

PREFERABLY WITH A WOMAN.

Ich wollte immer schon versuchen

WRITING SOMETHING BRILLIANT ON ONE OF THESE DATING WEBSITES. OH WELL, MAYBE SOMEDAY...

Meine Freunde beschreiben mich als

Freundlich, Albern, Ein Flirt

Meine Religion ist

Spirituell aber nicht religiös

Ich besuche Gottesdienste

Nie

Mein Ziel im Leben ist

CONTINUING TO SCAN THE OBITUARIES FOR MY NAME EACH MORNING AND NOT FINDING IT THERE.

Mein Art Humor ist

Freundlich, Albern, Mysteriös

Im Fernsehen sehe ich mir Folgendes gerne an

Nachrichten, Cartoons, Dokumentationen, Dramen, Filme

Wenn ich ins Kino gehe, sehe ich immer

Science Fiction, Comedy, Romanze, Drama, Dokumentation, Animation, Horror

Wenn ich mir Musik anhöre, höre ich immer

Rock, Metal, Klassik, Staubsaugergeräusche, Blues, Jazz, Soul, Punk

Wenn ich lese, lese ich immer

Klassik, Fiction, Horror, Humor, Satire

Meine Vorstellung von Spaß ist

HITTING MYSELF ON THE NOSE WITH A ROLLED UP NEWSPAPER WHENEVER I MAKE A MESS ON THE CARPET.

Was findest du attraktiv?

Intelligenz, Humor, Einfühlungsvermögen, Kühnheit, Flirtwillig, Esprit, Nachdenklich

Wonach suchst du?

HONESTY TOWARDS OTHERS AS WELL AS SOMEONE WHO CAN ALSO BE HONEST WITH THEMSELVES ABOUT THE KIND OF PEOPLE THEY WANT IN THEIR LIFE.

Nach welcher Art Beziehung suchst du?

Freund, Date, Vertrauter, Verpflichtendes